People & creatures I'd like to apologize to over the span of my life:
* The Tarzana Vons' employee who had to clean up after me, one December, when deep in thought, I bashed my cart into a massive display of champagne bottles. I know it was an incredible mess - but wasn't that amazing? The sound of all those champagne bottles bursting one after the other as they fell like dominoes... was something I'll never forget.
*The kid In the group I was escorting on the Valley Forge, Pennsylvania field trip, who's fatally allergic to nuts -so I checked with the kitchen staff before every meal. I was diligent, until...we went to that pretzel factory and I held out a peanut butter stuffed pretzel to you, "Here, try this." You, looked up at me, said, "No." I asked, "Why?" You said, "'Cuz I'll die." Oops. Sorry.
*Any teenaged girl that tried to babysit me in the early '70s.
*My tortoise, Harry, whom I took away from a beautiful, clear-water cove in Greece and put in a shoe box to travel in the backseat of my parents' car with me.
*All the students at Frederick Burke Elementary who didn't stand a chance in the most creative Halloween costume contest when I walked in wearing my self-made wacky bird outfit of cardboard and feathers.
*My third roommate, whose hardwood floors I pitted with my spiky heels.
*My litte sister, for dumping a cold glass of milk and Ovaltine on her head. Or did she do that to me? If I did, I'm sorry. If you did, I deserved it.
*My cousin, Nancy, for physically brawling with her in 1974. But I just couldn't stand another minute watching "Zoom" on PBS. That show could drive any sane child mad. I'm convinced.
*John Cusak and Eric Barrett for how I behaved. Obnoxious after way too many Cape Cods at the Formosa, I was a jerk. Eric, thank you for carrying me home.
*The short-haired woman in that Burlingame restaurant's dimly lit bathroom, when I said, "Oops! I didn't realize this is the men's room!" and you replied, "It's not!"
*The older woman at Mission Burrito, dining with her husband, who was on the receiving end of my spoon-full of rice. Honestly, I was only teasing my husband, pretending to sling-shot it in his direction... when I pulled the spoon back, it got away from me - accidently. Greasy spoon, I suppose. Who knew a ball of rice could fly that far? I didn't!
*My daughter, for my being, what she calls, "over-protective". But, hey, you didn't grow up in the '70s in San Francisco without many boundaries. If you only knew what I saw and did... you would be careful, too.
*That client who called our home phone sounding like Minnie Mouse, and I said, "Okay, Fred, I know it's you," because Fred always calls our house with funny voices pretending to be somebody else. Sorry, If I'd only known you had a throat operation...
*That guy I had a date with in December of 1985, for not being home when you came to pick me up. Sorry. I moved that day and I forgot to tell you. I moved a lot. Unfortunately, I had to face you again a year later when we were set up on a blind date. What a small world, huh?
*That blog reader who became enraged after reading my rant on people who carry dogs around in bags, because his wife (whom I believe was disabled) adored her sickly dog, so carried him around. I'm sorry that he didn't know I was merely referring to Hollywood trendy types who plaster their dogs in bows, bind them in argyle vests and carry them around as if they're the latest Gucci accessories. I was not referring to the disabled or their sickly dogs. Sorry, I should have been more clear.
*That poor, poor woman in the steak and beer restaurant who had the bad luck to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. If it helps... I will feel horrible about what happened for my entire life; though, I have the feeling that won't help.
Unfortunately, I know I have more people to apologize to - but not enough time right now. To be updated later.